Bereavement

The truth is, we will all experience bereavement at some point in our lives. 

I often hear, "I should be over it by now"  Why can't I move on?

People typically contact me when, following a loss, someone has said to them, surely they "should have moved on by now."

Following a bereavement, many people don't necessarily need counselling or psychotherapy. 

Grief isn't simply one feeling, but encompasses a range of feelings, and is a natural process which takes time and is unique to each individual. 

Friends and family support can be enormously beneficial at this time. Where words may sometimes feel inadequate, simply "being there" can be enough. For some, practical help with chores may be invaluable whilst they come to terms with what's happened. 

If there comes a point however where a person feels they are struggling to function day to day and they feel stuck with feelings of hopelessness and despair, then, this unresolved grief may be helped by exploring those feelings with a professional. 

Factors that may increase the risk of developing this complicated grief include:

• An unexpected death of a loved one, death of a child, miscarriage and stillbirth, lack of a support system, family or friendships, past history of depression, and traumatic childhood experiences. 

Therapy offers a chance to explore grief reactions. 

• Sometimes it can be useful, with the therapist, to hold imagined conversations with the loved one and retell the circumstances of the death to help the person become less distressed by images and thoughts. 

This can be an opportunity to be with a therapist who will listen to a person's experience, give them time to talk and support them as they explore their feelings and, in time, begin to live life again.

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Attachment-based psychotherapy

Attachment-based psychotherapy is a branch of relational psychoanalysis exploring emotional forms of attachment from birth onwards.

The theory behind attachment-based psychotherapy can be traced back to the end of the 19th Century, but it's really the work of John Bowlby that has had the most influence.
Bowlby was a British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst interested in early child development and the forming of early attachments - secure, anxious, avoidant, ambivalent or disorganised. This led to an understanding of how problematic attachment experiences early on in life are subsequently re-enacted later in adult life.
Bowlby believed that secure and supportive relationships enable us to develop a sense of who we are. A growing attachment-based relationship with a psychotherapist allows the client opportunities to mourn past losses, and explore the impact of important relationships on the client's life in the present and the past.

Psychodynamic Counselling & Psychotherapy

Psychodynamic counselling has grown out of psychoanalysis and the work of Freud, as well as subsequent psychoanalytic theorists.

It is a model of therapy that uses psychoanalytic ideas to explain people's growth and development, and the nature of any arising psychological problems.

Counsellors do not work in the same way as analysts, and they work with both long and short term clients.
Psychodynamic counselling uses the therapeutic relationship that is the relationship between them and the client, to gain insight into unconscious relationship patterns that have evolved since childhood.
Memories and other evidence of early relationships are used to make sense of current concerns.

The process of change occurs as clients become more aware of the power of the unconscious, including defence mechanisms, instincts and rules for life, to influence their behaviour, and by becoming aware they may feel more able to control their actions and responses.

http://www.rachellanecounselling.co.uk/

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

CBT is a way of helping people look at what they do and how they are feeling. Perhaps a way of behaving in the past has helped them deal with or defended them from difficult feelings, and now it is causing difficulties for them, or is producing more difficult feelings.

Cognitive therapy helps with thinking processes such as unwanted thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs (called cognitive processes)

Behavioural therapy focuses on behaviour in response to those thoughts

CBT is based on the belief that most unhealthy ways of thinking and behaving have been learned over a long period of time. Using a set of structured techniques, CBT is used to identify how a person is thinking and how this can cause problematic feelings and behaviour. The person can then learn to change this way of thinking. This will help them react more positively, which will boost self-esteem and confidence.

Negative thoughts usually lead to upsetting or angry feelings, which can then affect a person’s mood and their behaviour. If unable to counter such thoughts with a more positive view, a negative spiral starts and perceptions of a situation can become distorted. CBT encourages the client to challenge beliefs about their self and their abilities so that they achieve a more realistic view of the situation.
www.rachellanecounselling.co.uk.

Solution Focused Brief Therapy

Solution Focused Therapy places emphasis on the present and future. Rather than analysing problems therapists will attempt to engage the client in conversation about potential solutions, operating from the viewpoint that change is not only possible but inevitable.

Therapists encourage the client to talk about solutions and believe that spending too much time on problems contributes to their perpetuation, thereby distracting the client from formulating solutions to their issues.


www.rachellanecounselling.co.uk